It has been a long time since I blogged, huh? There have been a handful of reasons.
For starters, I’ve had a lot of fear in writing on here again. Even now, I’m afraid of writing about those fears, worried that they might be used to destroy me. The best I can look at it is honesty, transparency, is not always well recieved by others, but I can’t live my life in fear of rejection.
Second, I haven’t been writing quite as much. I finished a few re-writes of Polarity back in the Spring and sent out the manuscript to a couple dozen agents. No bites yet, but I have recieved some encouraging rejections (apparently there is such a thing). I was focusing on that a lot while brainstorming, outlining, and exploring my next novel.
Third, I’ve been in production land. My husband and I started a Christian commuity theatre in our hometown, and it was met with resounding success and acceptance. We were in production from June until just last week (and yet the work continues!) but I’m working on getting back to my normal routine, which includes writing again.
I’m excited to be simply a writer once more for a little while.
Paradox, my next novel, will explore several topics which I have been interested in for a long time: cults, art as expression, and paranoia. Paranoia is the one that hits close to one and I hope to unravel in myself through the process.
With all this talk of paranoia and fear, I also want to mention a book that I read earlier this year but I continue to think about and be encouraged by: Into The Darkest Corner by Elizabeth Haynes. It is not for the faint of heart, but I can’t get it out of my head. While the main character’s trauma was much darker than anything I have experienced, we both ended up at similar places, and that was where I saw myself in her.
The biggest thing that stuck with me was that I was afraid of the main character letting go of her fear and paranoia. I thought those were weapons that she could use to protect herself with. If she wasn’t afraid, she wouldn’t be ready for the next attack and she would be hurt again. But what I learned through her journey was that fear only gave more control to the villain. It was only when she let go of fear that she was able to stand up to her enemy and break free.
I would highly recommend it to anyone who struggles with anxiety, paranoia, and/or fear, but be advised, it carries a heavy M rating for graphic content of all types.
So there’s a little peek into my life right now. I look forward to sharing more information about Paradox in the future! Until, please carry these words from my heart kindly.