The Power to Define Me

As I have been posting more and more on my Instagram page about my Scorpio necklaces and accessories, I realized that I haven’t really gone in depth on here about why I adorn myself with this zodiac symbol, especially as a Christian.

For those who haven’t read my book POLARITY, astrology and the zodiac are key elements in the story as the main character, Kendra, returns to her hometown of Polaris, and the pressures of the society there. Namely, the pressure to truly embody your zodiac sign. The zodiac, for those who are less familiar (and in the simplest terms I can muster), is a constellation symbol associated with the birthdate of a person. These symbols, and the stars that form it, supposedly can tell you what your weaknesses and strengths are, as well as predict your future (a la horoscopes).

So in the world of Polaris, your zodiac symbol is who you are. It tells you everything about yourself, what careers you are suited for, who your potential spouses are, even your personality. Kendra experiences those pressures more and more throughout the story, sometimes feeling trapped by these expectations, and other times using them as an excuse for her actions.

For me, these are very relatable struggles: to live up to the expectations others have of you, or to defy the assumptions they make about you.

So I’m a Scorpio. According to the zodiac, I am jealous, determined, controlling, violent, and passionate, and according to my daily horoscope, my “dilemmas are bigger than you anticipated they would be and many things are at stake, but you already know that answers are simple when they are ripe and clear.”

But am I those things? Do I have to be those things? Is that truly my identity?

Uh, no. I have the power to make my own choices, to decide who I am doing to be and what will define me. While I don’t find I am particularly violent or jealous, if I was to give the power of identity to my zodiac, maybe I would think that it is beyond my control to resist those sins when temptation came.

In the same way, I can allow an event that has happened to me – such as spiritual abuse – define me: I can’t trust scripture; people only use the Bible to manipulate others; I am not strong enough; I am not brave enough; I am because this happened to me. Or, I can allow what others say to define me: I never say no; I’m not good at keeping my house clean; I’m not good enough; I am because they said so.

These are all lies, but even a lie can seem true if you believe it.

Instead of giving this power to others, I have the ability to decide for myself what will define me. And everyday, I want to choose to allow Christ to define me: I am loved (1 John 4:10, Romans 8:37-39); I am forgiven (Colossians 1:13-14, 1 John 1:9); I am free from sin (2 Corinthians 5:7, Romans 6:18); I am hidden with Christ (Colossians 3:3); I don’t need to be afraid (1 John 4:18, Joshua 1:9); I am who God says I am (Ephesians 2:10).

And my Scorpio necklaces remind me of that truth. I decide. You decide. And don’t give that power to someone who is going to abuse it with lies. Give that power to Christ – it’s only in Him that truth and real love are found.

[So that’s my spiel! Can you tell I’m a people pleaser? I’m working on it.]

A Hot Minute

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve updated on my writing…probably because it’s been a hot minute since I’d really had time to write for myself!

Over the past few months, I have been busy with my new full-time job at Solace Theatre, fundraising and producing our second musical. I’m still learning how to find balance in my life, and how to stew up the motivation to write.

I have queried a lot of agents for Polarity, and that has been a big hang up for me with writing. I have had a difficult moving on from Polarity, and I’m ready for it to be out there, out of my hands. That story was written for such a specific chapter in my own life, and I’m ready to close that chapter.

Ready to let go.

So, in order to free myself to use my non-working-time to write and tell stories, rather than feeling the burden to keep querying. I am very proud of Polaris, but I know the next thing I write will be that much better, so I’m ready to move forward.

I won’t be taking a very long time – or spending a lot of money – to get it out, ideally before our next big production in June. I’m currently on my eighth and final pass at the manuscript, and I’m ready to finally share it with you all.

I’ll check back in when I have an update!

xoxo Erin

Simply A Writer

It has been a long time since I blogged, huh? There have been a handful of reasons.

For starters, I’ve had a lot of fear in writing on here again. Even now, I’m afraid of writing about those fears, worried that they might be used to destroy me. The best I can look at it is honesty, transparency, is not always well recieved by others, but I can’t live my life in fear of rejection.

Second, I haven’t been writing quite as much. I finished a few re-writes of Polarity back in the Spring and sent out the manuscript to a couple dozen agents. No bites yet, but I have recieved some encouraging rejections (apparently there is such a thing). I was focusing on that a lot while brainstorming, outlining, and exploring my next novel.

Third, I’ve been in production land. My husband and I started a Christian commuity theatre in our hometown, and it was met with resounding success and acceptance. We were in production from June until just last week (and yet the work continues!) but I’m working on getting back to my normal routine, which includes writing again.

I’m excited to be simply a writer once more for a little while.Read More »