It has been a long time since I blogged, huh? There have been a handful of reasons.
For starters, I’ve had a lot of fear in writing on here again. Even now, I’m afraid of writing about those fears, worried that they might be used to destroy me. The best I can look at it is honesty, transparency, is not always well recieved by others, but I can’t live my life in fear of rejection.
Second, I haven’t been writing quite as much. I finished a few re-writes of Polarity back in the Spring and sent out the manuscript to a couple dozen agents. No bites yet, but I have recieved some encouraging rejections (apparently there is such a thing). I was focusing on that a lot while brainstorming, outlining, and exploring my next novel.
Third, I’ve been in production land. My husband and I started a Christian commuity theatre in our hometown, and it was met with resounding success and acceptance. We were in production from June until just last week (and yet the work continues!) but I’m working on getting back to my normal routine, which includes writing again.
I’m excited to be simply a writer once more for a little while.Read More »
This is a poem I have been chewing on for a while now. A long while. It’s a different side of my writing that I typically keep to myself in my journal, but this one keeps coming back to me. It is a comfort when I wonder if I made a mistake in leaving or when I need release from the hurt that lingers.
While God has given me freedom from the toxic relationship that fed this poem, I pray it might give others hope. Malice disguised as love is a cruel cage, one we often allow ourselves to stay locked in. You can free yourself from the cage, from that relationship that seeks to crush you. Finding freedom starts with simply choosing to stepping outside of the lies and see the truth: this is not what love looks like.
You’re too kind to attack
So I’m not allowed to fight back
Lest you be proven right
That I was the villain all along
Somehow my feelings matter less
And my perspective doesn’t exist
If I want this to last
If I want to stick around
It’s exclusively on your terms
With only your hurts
And I’ll take every fall
All the assumptions and unmet expectations
You’ll be the victim again while I lie here beaten
So don’t cry
Don’t cry, you say
There is no blame to share
Only my apologies if I want to hold on
To this thing we’ve built
And what is it, really?
What does it matter if the way we survive
Is with abuse and pain?
What is there to save?
Except the slave
So I wanted to make a little post updating you on what has been going on lately!
We’ll start with “Colors to Stars”, which has always been the working title, and now I have found the actual title: POLARITY. I have a list of literary agents I think would be interested in this project, and I am planning on taking the long road of traditional with this novel.
I have three parts up over at the TheFaithfulTroubadour.com blog about writing a musical, but I planning to write something a little bit more in-depth on this side about my experience in writing POLARITY, and the growth I’ve seen in myself when I finished the first full edit last week.
THE BLESSED is still in the back of my brain, and I might revisit the land of Eviryia after I finish “PARADOX” [the working title of my next novel], which I will be starting in February and hopefully finish during NaNo Camp in April. So, it is possible that I’ll dip back into Eviryia to finish up the trilogy during NaNoWriMo this November.
And there you have it! There are several big things coming onto my plate this year with The Faithful Troubadour and some other theatre stuff, but that is another post for another time 😉